Florida Sport Fishing - Boat Show ‘SPECIAL’

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Boat Show ‘SPECIAL’

Written by Nick Elbag

AS SEEN IN THE WINTER 2003/04 ISSUE

The time has finally come. Im going to buy a brand new boat. Now dont get the wrong idea, I know boats. I grew up with boats. I remember my parents taking me on vacation when I was about 8 yrs. old to the Florida Keys. Dad spots this 17 footer on the side of a building lying on the ground, full of water. He stopped to look at that wreck every day we were on vacation.

The next thing I know its hooked on the back of the car with some kind of homemade trailer and were hauling it home. The thing looked and smelled like it already sank, twice. We should have named the boat Work because thats what it was, lots of work. Sanding, scraping, caulking, fiberglassing the transom cause the wood was rotted, building a windshield, building seats, building this, building that!

Well that was the first boat and even though it was a lot of work we did have some great times. I caught my first fish on that boat. Actually was a small barracuda but it was still exciting. As I got bigger so did our boats. We went from that old 17 footer to a beat up 21 footer, a decent 25 footer and as soon as I moved out, they got a 30 footer. I moved to where there was no such thing as an ocean but still had Boat on the Brain and was just waiting for my time to come.

Now a father myself, my time has finally come. Ive made up my mind. Im gonna buy a new boat. I want a 28 to 30 foot center console, twin outboard powered, lean mean fishin machine! I can just see myself now: rod bending action as I fight to land the monster I just hooked. Yeah, Im definitely gettin a new boat and Im gonna get it at the Boat Show! Man, this is gonna be great. Im so excited! Although Ive never been to a boat show, I know theres got to be tons of boats there. I bet theyre lined up like at a car lot. My plan is simple. Go to the boat show, walk through all the boats, pick the exact one I want, hook it to my car and take it home! I tell my boss I need Friday off as I want to get there before all the boats are sold out. My mind is swirling with thoughts of giant fish breaking the surface as they struggle to break loose. I can already see the envy of my friends faces when I come back with gigantic size fish and tell my stories of the days great struggles. I can remember the excitement I felt when I hooked that small barracuda as a kid. Im ready! The day has come, Im up at sunrise. I know exactly where the show is and leave early to get a good parking spot near the entrance.

I turn onto the street leading to the show and all I see is cars. Whats the deal with the traffic? Dont these people know the boat show doesnt open for another hour? As I ease up to the parking lot I see the sign Boat Show Parking in big letters and in small letters, $25, boat show special. Youve got to be kidding, 25 bucks to park? No way, and off I go to find a different lot. It seems as though theres some kind of conspiracy as every lot is the same price. Without even realizing it, Im now about 3 miles away from the show.

Luckily I find a guy standing in his driveway holding up a sign that read Park Here $10 What a deal I thought and so I did. Im getting nervous as Im already late and every cab has somebody already in it. Thirty minutes later Im finally on my way. The taxi driver drops me off at the show gate and I pay my discounted $14 fare. He tells me I get a few bucks off for the boat show special. What a minute! 10 plus 14 plus yeah, OK I feel special. Im standing on line with about 800 other people. Its like being in the middle of a herd of cattle.

But I keep my cool and stay focused because Im on a mission. Im here to buy a new boat. $28.50 later and Im in the door. Here we go! Immediately I say to myself, where are all the boats? Im in a huge tent and as far as I can see there are t-shirts, belts, jewelry, knives, hats, sculptures, paintings, but no boats. Im stunned for a second but quickly gather myself as she comes into view. Right there between all the people looking better than I could have ever imagined, the Beer Girl. Well, Ive got the day off, Im focused on buying my new boat and I cant seem to keep my eyes off her, so I buy one. A warm beer in a 16 oz. plastic cup for the price of a 6 pack, what a deal. She smiles, says enjoy the show and off I go to find my perfect boat. Im already enjoying the show.

Wow, look at that rod and reel. Ive gotta stop and check it out. I know Ill catch every fish in the ocean with that thing. SOLD! Boat show special for only 800 bucks and well worth every penny. Four hours later and only halfway through the tent, Im shuffling along carrying my shiny rod and reel and finally, nother Beer Girl. Where do they find these girls anyway? OK, OK, so I grab another quick one and continue on.

Wait, Custom Boat Name Decals, Made Right Before Your Eyes I cant believe it. Ive gotta name my boat. Lets see, something unique like, Fish Killer, Hooker, Daddys Girl, Woke Up Late, I got it, the boat is going to be named Sea- Ducer. Yeah, I like that! Carefully setting my rod and reel down, I order Sea- Ducer with big fancy letters for the transom and two smaller versions to stick on the sides. What a great experience. They made them while I watched, rolled them up for me and gave me instructions on applying them. Total bill was only $495, boat show special. Im off again.

Im really excited now. Got the rod and reel, got my boat name decals and I can see the light at the end of the tent leading to what has to be a great boat selection. I should have known this was going to happen. Right there, just as I walk out of the tent, there she was! Feeling kinda cocky right about now, I mosey on up and order another seven dollar cold one.

I quicken my pace as I head down the path toward what I know is going to be the boats. All of a sudden Im side-tracked by a sweet little voice that catchs my attention Sir, are you a fisherman? I stop dead in my tracks, because I know I am. Do you get this fishing magazine? You really need it to catch the big ones. Tells you how and where to do it all. I cant resist and buy a 3 yr. subscription, the boat show special.

Finally I can see the boats. Theres hundreds and hundreds of them! Big, small, inboards, outboards, even sail boats. With all of the excitement, I need to make a pit stop. The three beers have done their thing. As I stand in the long line I carefully find a place to put my purchases which Im so proud of. I take care of business, head out the exit door and you guessed it, another bikini clad Beer Girl. How can any warm blooded American say no?

Now that Im back on track, I have the boats in sight. All of a sudden, something catches my eye. A huge wall, I mean like an 8 high by 30 long wall covered with thousands of trolling lures. The colors and designs mesmerize me. I imagine for a moment that if I was a fish, Id hit every one of these lures. Stepping up for a closer look I get some expert help from a man who is obviously a professional fisherman. Explaining that Im buying a new boat and only want to catch giant fish he starts to grab what I need. Drag these off the side, these two in the middle, put these way back and these few up close. He says I should buy two or three of each so that when I catch a fish, I can throw another lure out and not lose valuable fishing time. It all makes sense to me so I tell him to load me up. Smiling, he bags up my extensive collection of giant fish catchin lures. 38 all together, complete with leaders and lure bags to store them in. I did great, only paid $695 for the whole lot, boat show special.

Off I go to pick my boat and miraculously, I run into another professionally manicured beverage dispenser. Ive got to tell you, these girls get better and better looking as the day goes on. With one hand I gather up my sparkling rod and reel, my cool boat decals, my magazine and my lures while I grabbed whats really important in the other. I start heading for, wait a sec, whats this? Sunglasses that let you see right through the water? No Glare At All, Made For Fishing. Used By Top Fishermen All Over The World.Hey, I need those. $285, done deal! I walk up and down the rows and rows of glistening boats. In and out, up and down, over and under, around and back while coincidentally running into Beer Girls on more than one occasion. Nothing really hits me in the face. No monster fishing machine is screaming BUY ME A bit discouraged and getting awfully tired I decide to come back the next day and start fresh.

Heading to my car in the cab, I dream of what tomorrow will bring when all of a sudden, I see it. It was perfect. I yell at the driver, hey pull over right here! I grab all my stuff, pay the man and walk up to her. She wasnt even in the show but as far as I was concerned this was the boat for me. Right there, on the side of a building laying on the ground, full of water, an old 17 footer. Perfect!

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