AS SEEN IN THE JANUARY/FEBRUARY '07 ISSUE

Spend as much time on the water as full-time fishing guides do, and you’re bound to stumble across floating objects. Most of these things are nothing more than worthless trash, but every now and then, you’ll find something of value. We’ve all heard tales of boaters finding lost tackle boxes, rods, gaffs and coolers- even bags of money and bundles of illicit narcotics all aimlessly floating out in the middle of nowhere.

However, other than the cash, these found treasures don’t compare to the wealth of gear, gadgets and garments I find on my boat after I return from a day on the water with customers. Once I finish cleaning the fish and hand the bag of fillets to my clients, they’re often in such a rush to hit the highway that they forget their possessions on the boat and are just too tired to return to get them. That’s exactly why as soon as they pull out of the marina parking lot, my cell phone mysteriously is turned off.

Over the years, I have given my wife three engagement rings, and I have lost count of how many wedding bands she now owns. When she is showing off her collection to family and friends, she is always quick to point out how much nicer they are than the ring I bought her.

Thanks to forgetful former clients, I now own seven watches, one for each day of the week, and my collection is growing with each passing season. The only problem is that I still don’t know what time it is. I can recite the tide tables in eight different countries, but when it comes to the time of day, I’m lost.

The most common ‘leftover’ items are perishables, which aren’t so easy to move or sell unless you have an ‘in’ with a local backcountry convenience store, which I do not. Sandwiches and snacks left aboard usually end up as my dinner, and any beer or other beverages left behind go straight home to my fridge. Clothing is another frequently forgotten treasure. I can’t always fit into what is left behind, but left over t-shirts have saved me a bundle in hand towels. Along with this endless supply of rags, my boat is also equipped with more hats and sunglasses then you would find on the busiest beach in Bermuda. I’ve found that customers who have forgotten their own sunglasses are willing to dish out as much as $10.00 a day to rent a pairquick cash in my pocket!

Divers are not exempt from leaving bonuses behind either. Expensive masks, weight belts, equipment bagsall have supplemented my day’s income. I haven’t had to purchase a knife in years, and some of those dive computers bring upwards of three hundred bucks at the local pawn shop- not a bad gratuity for a half day trip by anyone’s standards.

I love it when sports writers and photographers come on my boat. They always leave me cool stuff! I find digital cameras and camcorders that I keep for myself. You would be shocked at the variety of explicit photos and video left behind for my viewing pleasure.

Cell phones are the most popular item left behind. At first, I encouraged my teenage daughter to use them rather than racking up her own cell phone bill. However, the heat started to get too hot, and cell phone companies were calling her during all hours of the day and night asking who was going to pay for the outrageous charges. Isn’t that considered harassment on their part?

All of the other forgotten items I recover on my boat, I store in my shed. When the time comes, they make great gifts. My son loves the I-pod I gave him for his birthday last year, while my youngest cannot stop bragging about the backpack and hand-held video game Santa left under the tree. My brother, too, says the palm pilot I mailed him as a wedding gift was the best present he ever received. However, he keeps asking me why the back reads, “Emanuel Gonzales.”

By now, some of you may have painted a grim picture of my character, but nothing could be further from the truth. You may not believe me, but all of the wallets or purses left behind always make it back to their rightful owners. I can’t explain it, but it just doesn’t feel right to keep those personal items, not to mention, they’re incriminating evidence. There are a few things I just won’t do- steal, ride a moped, drink non-alcoholic beer, or date my best friend’s ex-girlfriend (except for once). Oh yes, and just to shed a little light on my sound character and to prove to you that I’m not really a bad guy after all, any item left on my boat is held for a ninety day grace period. After that, it’s finders’ keepers!

---

Save and Share this Article: